So, the story of vacation starts the Thursday before vacation. I dropped Collin off at school and Ethan and I went to the gym. A half hour later I was paged to the care center, and my child was returned to me because He had been crying the entire time. It's very hard to find the dedication to exercise, can't he cooperate? So we went around the corner to the grocery store, but he'd fallen asleep; so w drove around another corner to home. Where he woke up. So I drove that awake child back to the store. While buckling him into the seat, my phone started ringing. It was Collin's school. They asked me to come get him because he had a 102 fever! Feeling the need to vindicate myself for any assumption I has brought a sick kid to school, I put forth a convincing argument "but he was fine this morning!" But he want fine somewhere between breakfast at school and circle time.
He had the fever all day Thursday, Friday, and Saturday afternoon, but Sunday orning he was a normal temp and his normal ornery self. This kid is seriously well behaved when he's sick! It's one of the ways I know he's feeling better, the temper and defiance come back. Since he was better, and no other symptoms to point to a cause; we decided it was safe to head out of state to visit my dad's family.
Wednesday night was the first big family gathering, and I was so excited. I've never met most of my cousins. As someone was showing up, I woke Collin from a power nap and took him to the bathroom. He began a tantrum and wouldn't go. I told him I had to go, too, and I wasn't waiting. I moved him Bach a few inches, and as I sat down, he proceeded to begin peeing. On purpose. All over me. I jumped back up and moved him to the toilet in a second, but by the he was already done! Pants around the ankles meant I had pee literally all down my pants legs. Plural. (I won't look good in orange. I won't look good in orange. I won't look good in orange!). Hollering for my dad, and trying to mop myself up, he says "Hey, what about those pants we put in the diaper bag in case one of the boys got sick on you?" SAVED! And the toddler continued screaming. Soon enough he wa distracted by the magic train set and Ita and Freddie and decided the temper wasn't worth the effort.
The following Saturday he woke up a little cranky. Papa was rubbing his back; and as Collin cranking told him to stop, he threw up all over our bed! And again a few hours later. I sent dad and Ethan away to play and hoped they wouldn't catch whatever this was.
Monday morning there was a brown stain in the bed to which I attributed too little food and too much apple juice. I was wrong. I was serving the boys some lunch when I realized Collin had gotten sick all over the floor. I was surprised his clothes were still so clean, and as I walked closer I realized that this was not vomit at all.
Here's the rundown: my dad, Ethan, Collin and I are at my bachelor uncle's house. Awesome thou he is, never having d your own children solidifies the opinion that poop is revolting and should be avoided. And I was mortified! I grabbed Collin and carried him to the garage, and yelled for my dad to come help me. I scrounged some newspapers for Collin to stand on, and dad tossed me some baby wipes and a grocery bag for clothes and cleaned the kitchen. Emergency bath! Followed by an emergency cleaning of anything Collin even looked at. Since we were leaving the next day, Jack and Betsy came over with their boys to say goodbye. In the middle of ice cream, I smelled a smell. Grabbed Collin under his arms and ran back to the garage. Emergency cleaning #2. At this point, Collin is wearing a diaper from Betsy, because it was bigger than any of Ethan's, and his pajamas since he already exploded through his spare pants.time to go back to the hotel; I can't take this anymore.
I got the boys settled and asleep, and briefly wondered about the consequences of putting a recently trained child, who likes to have "on purposes",back in diapers. No other option. I also considered throwing away his clothes, but that seemed too wasteful to toss two pairs of pants and two underwear. But I was not going to put them in my suitcase the way they were. Unfortunately, I'm not tacky enough to put them through the hotel washer, so I turned on the fan in the hotel room's bathrooms and did unspeakable things not the toilet, without gloves, and only a bar of hand soap for sanitation! Then I took a decently long shower without feeling guilty. Benefits of plentiful water in the Midwest.
This is the end? I'm not that lucky.
Tuesday morning we slept a tad late, and went to IHOP for breakfast. While taking Collin tot eh bathroom, I discovered his entire torso was covered in a bright red blotchy rash. What the crap is this? Then I thought, his eyes have been weepy since last night. I've heard him cough. The boys always feel warm to me, what if I didn't notice a fever. Full on panic as I decide my three year old might have measles!!!! Rational thought process didn't care that he'd had the MMR shot already. I run back to the table for the keys and tell dad that we are leaving. Now! The poor waitresses were freaked out (this was our third morning in a row, we had a rapport going). The short end of this story is that he had a double ear infection that had triggered Scarlett Fever, and some unknown cause of the diarrhea. Mess and numbing drop for the ears, and we were cleared to go home.
At this point, there were no more additional shenanigans from Collin, but that explosive diarrhea last a full week! No exaggeration! And just as he was getting better, Ethan got it, too! My next vacation had better be amazing, and it wouldn't hurt Collin's longevity if the tantrums and "on purposes" stopped.
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